Harnessing the male ego

(by multiple authors, for DreamLover Laboratories)

Channeling a male's sexual energy towards heightened levels of courtship is key to any consensual form of male training. To this end, women have employed traditional male chastity aids, sometimes supplemented by some means of arousal induction, such as visual stimulation, or the more recent DreamLover 2000 arousal inducer.

The first attempt by the male to voluntarily forego ejaculation to serve a higher goal is often seen as an important psychological milestone and a pivotal point in a relationship. His learned sexual possessiveness is turned upside down, allowing him to internalize a new power and reward dynamic. But more importantly, it establishes an explicit consent. With this consent, subsequent changes of heart or violations can be recognized as "infractions", setting up the tone for his training, and placing you in the position of the judge of his demeanor.

Males are clearly predisposed to recognize a female "judge of demeanor" figure (integrated into their subconscious psyche during childhood) - rediscovering such a figure allows for a greater level of intimacy, and enables him to learn how to "impress by pleasing" as opposed to attempting to impress by futile or downright unpleasant means.

The first inevitably unsuccessful "vow of chastity" also allows one to introduce the chastity device, which is an important first step leading up to the implementation of full male behavior control with a male management system such as the DreamLover 2000.

The chastity vow

But how is the chastity vow obtained?

Many women admit that while they find the whole concept of the Maximum Courtship Investment and male training highly desirable, they just know that their boyfriend or husband will not be interested - that he certainly would never agree to wearing a chastity device.

Fortunately, such pessimism is rarely warranted, and most males can become receptive to a good value proposition in regards to postponement - and ultimately relinquishment - of their sexual ambitions. This is because sexuality and penetrative intercourse are not one and the same thing. The cultural link between them can be weakened and then broken. The male can be taught to associate sexual reward to different stimuli, which are better suited to the needs of the relationship.

Remember that while the "orgasm opt out" is a precursor to training, it is not training itself. Extensions of chastity can be used as a means of retribution on males who are in the intermediate or advanced stages of their training, but a new male must never associate the idea of chastity with punishment. Having no stake, no involvement in his training, he would reject the idea from the very beginning, making further mentions of it more difficult.

Instead, the idea of relinquishing orgasm must be associated with the very positive attributes and advantages that it carries for the relationship and the male himself.

Gradual adoption

Introduce chastity gradually and by indirect means, at first for limited periods of time, to allow the male to acclimate to it and avoid any knee-jerk reactions. Proceed slowly and before you know it, your male will be locked up 24/7 and ready for Identity Reframing and advanced male training techniques.

The first few days

Remember that hormonal fluctuations during the first few days of chastity have deep effects on the male's physiology. Withdrawal symptoms may occur, such as irritability, bad moods and absent-mindedness. The very reasons we want to train him in the first place. The morale is, it's got to get worse before it gets better. During the introductory period the male is not in a state of strong arousal and chastity is new to him. For these reasons, challenges of this initial period are more difficult.

Once you get past the first 3-4 days of uninterrupted chastity however, heightened levels of testosterone and falling prolactin concentration in the blood stream will naturally arouse the male, who will be in a much more receptive state - he will also learn to associate this arousal with chastity, and indirectly, with going along. On a subconscious level, he learns to be not the subject of his sexual urges, but the thing which is acted upon. He will learn that being affected and directed is a way of expressing his sexuality freely.

Step 1: the first challenge

A male will easily take on a challenge, provided he doesn't feel like he is being manipulated.

There are several types of challenge that can be used to introduce the subject of chastity, and you may be creative in formulating your own challenge. Importantly, you are to imply that you believe he will fail the challenge. It's up to him to prove that he is being underestimated, and to restore his image. This is critical in order for him to accept the challenge and make it his own.

The "You only care about sex" challenge

One challenge that is commonly employed with men who think of themselves as "nice guys" is the "you only care about sex" challenge. In this challenge, you accuse your partner of not really caring about you, and of being only interested in sex. When voicing this accusation, you must express not only frustration but also a good deal of resignation - you want a challenge, not an argument. Do imply that by being such a pervert, he is also "just like all the other guys". Nice guys will work hard to prove you wrong.

The main advantage with this type of challenge is that there is no carrot - no other benefit for the male than being worthy of your praise. He's being boot-strapped right into working hard to obtain your approval at the expense of some degree of control and - temporarily for now - his orgasms. This challenge applies to a male of above average receptiveness, someone who - deep down - is eager to say "yes maam" but may have been discouraged from assuming his proper role by culture and/or upbringing.

As soon as Mr Nice Guy has started to work on convincing you that he is not hopelessly controlled by his animal self, propose the challenge: bet that he will not be able to get past period of N days without intercourse or masturbation. It is important to avoid talking about chastity devices at this point. He is simply to take on the challenge of freely giving up orgasms for a length of time in order to prove his worth. The length depends on his average sex drive, but do keep in mind that many men carry out self-stimulation without their partner knowing it, so if you are used to having sex every two weeks it absolutely does not mean that he is not having an orgasm a day on his own as a "filler". In most cases, a week works out well, because it's seen as an unthreateningly short period - a familiar, discrete unit of time.

The sexual transmutation challenge

Obviously, you must customize the challenge in order to fit the vulnerabilities of your male's individual ego. If he is a low earner, and you can single out his place in the pecking order as his sensitive spot, the sexual transmutation challenge may come in handy. Explain how you've heard from your friend that continuous depletion of sexual energy slows down a male's drive and productivity, reducing his chances of success. Chastity is the break he's been waiting for.

This challenge is particularly easy to put forward because of a few reasons. First, you are being honest. It is a fact that males who deplete their sexual energy through frequent intercourse and masturbation "run on a flat battery". Second, a male's earning potential is high in his priorities, right up there with sex. Many males will at least temporarily cut back on sex and masturbation if they can stand to gain more money and power. Third, there are many books out there that can make your point for you and provide validation.

The book "Think and Grow Rich" (by Napoleon Hill) does wonders for you in this kind of challenge because it prepares the reader to focus on wealth for the first 10 chapters, then in the 11th chapter, it introduces sexual transmutation. Buy it for him, and nag him until he's read it. Then discuss chapter 11 to introduce his challenge.

It is not necessary for a man to be an economic failure in order for this challenge to work. He could be extremely wealthy, and still have a deep urge to do better than the neighbors/an associate/his friend. This will propel him through the sexual transmutation challenge.

The superman challenge

In this challenge one strikes at the core of the male's sexual ego by implying his performance is not satisfactory - the solution? Chastity, of course.

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<< back to theory

In this article:

Harnessing the male ego

The chastity vow

Gradual adoption

The first few days

Step 1: the first challenge

The "You only care about sex" challenge

The sexual transmutation challenge

The superman challenge

Last minute resistance

The challenge begins



Step 2: the second challenge

What if I can't catch him?

Anchoring the chastity aid


DreamLover 2000

Pro vs Lite
Part list


Pulse design
Pulse strength


Usage safety
Lab testing
Fail-safe design


Notes and Mounting

PC interface



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