The authority figure

(by Tomomi Kumakura, PhD, Scientific Advisor for DreamLover Laboratories)

Although most women in female led relationships attempt to single-handedly impart the necessary skills and knowledge to their male, and although this is made progressively easier by DreamLover Laboratories products and innovation, the presence of an "authority figure" of some sort can very often be beneficial and even a determine the success of the male's first phase of training.

The main obstacle faced by the ever growing number of women wishing to employ male training techniques to switch to a female led type of relationship is that there are existing, pre-learned negative roles which must be overcome on both sides.

Breaking habits: new roles

We will talk about habits. It is important here to distinguish the usual male "bad habits", such as leaving dishes in the sink until the next morning before washing them, leaving the toilet seat up and so forth, from the true negative roles and expectations that must be overcome and reversed in order for real training to begin.

If the male has, to date, been in charge of some of the relationship's parameters, perhaps even expecting his female partner to conform to his expectations, sexual or otherwise, these expectations must quickly be suppressed, and any such prior privileges rescinded. However, if the woman is not accustomed to exercising her authority, her delivery of her instructions and future requirements may appear weak. This may send a wrong message to the male, i.e. that compliance is voluntary. Worse still, her supervision and enforcement may be inconsistent or downright forgetful. This may also send a wrong message, that compliance is not a priority.

On the other hand, even a willfully participating male, if accustomed to a traditional relationship, may erroneously approach his training with an unserious attitude, due to the sudden change of roles appearing humorous to him. This will prevent him from investing all of his energy into his training. These factors, taken together, constitute a considerable problem for couples trying to move forward to a female led type of relationship.

The worry-free and low investment "push button" male training modality offered by the upcoming DreamLover 2000 product will be instrumental in reducing this initial hurdle, as the male quickly learns that infraction will be met with a no nonsense "bad boy button" activation of appropriate strength.

Nevertheless, I wish to mention another commonly used facilitator that can be used to smooth out the transition from a traditional relationship to a wholly female led one.

The authority figure

When existing roles must be overcome and erased it is often useful to employ a third person - possibly one who has not previously been seen, or who the male is unfamiliar with, or who by association (kinship, direct employment, friendship or familiarity) is seen as being openly on the woman's side.

Such figure may become an essential, interim impersonation of female authority, as the male is undergoing the first or intermediate phases of his training. She may serve as a convenient target for the male's psyche to lock on to, as training incrementally associates seduction and submission, beauty and authority, within his subconscious. The focus on such intermediate target will later be easily shifted to the male's girlfriend or wife, after the possibility of complete submission to one female specimen has been properly absorbed and internalized, and his new position in relation to "females in general" thoroughly demonstrated.

The employment of an "authority figure" is most useful when one of the above situations arise:

  • the male is to submit to a particularly young woman or one who is much younger than himself. The younger and more inexperienced the woman, the harder it will initially be for the male to accept his relationship of inferiority to her, if she is not accustomed to wielding her youth and beauty with confidence and authority. Here, the helping hand of an authority figure can aid and guide their transition.
  • the woman is not sufficiently experienced with male training to enforce and supervise - or, a time constraint makes it convenient to have a senior or hired consultant take over these tasks, leaving her with only the benefits and none of the responsibilities.
  • the couple has deeply ingrained, dysfunctional roles and expectations which have crystallized into habits. In this case it is hard for the male to quickly start seeing his partner as his superior, and an intermediate figure of authority is helpful to introduce the male to the reality of female supremacy within a domestic context.
  • public exposure is required in order to bring about Identity Reframing, but the woman's larger circle of friends cannot yet be utilized. Often a certain level of compliance is desirable before close friends can be involved, in order to avoid embarrassment. When the male is still in the early stages of training a trusted authority figure can be used to achieve the minimum necessary level of exposure.
  • the couple is already in a well established female led relationship and the male has successfully completed the early stages of his traning, but - perhaps due to a training mistake - he has not specifically been conditioned to accepting exposure and performing for third parties. In this case the Authority Figure serves as an important intermediate step between the safety and comfort of domestic servitude and the generalized, overt submission to womankind that some women find convenient or entertaining. This situation is similar but not to be confused with the above; here we have the added nuance that exposure is utilized to impress onto the male generalized gender roles, this is suggested in the contexts of shared male ownership, lend/trade scenarios and whenever the male is required to routinely service before, or for, multiple females.

Typical authority figures

There are many ways of choosing an authority figure to side with you in the training of your male. Your choice will depend on training strategy, convenience and whether you require full time or part time assistance.

A stereotypical authority figure can be chosen, to resonate with and reinforce the male's child-time or present memories of spontaneously and naturally obeying a woman in a socially familiar context. Such figures include:

  • Teachers (women's studies, physical education, feminism are all well suited in addition to difficult subjects such as math, provided the male did not excel at them)
  • Male training oriented marriage counselors, male management consultants and psychiatrists
  • Executives (the male's boss, if she is willing, would be an excellent choice for on the job supervision and perhaps even as infrequent home aid in exchange for overtime work)

Alternatively, the aid could be chosen among the woman's next of kin and close friends:

  • Sister (or sisters - multiple authority figures are possible). Often this will be an older sister, more experienced with male training and with considerable experience and her own ideas on how a male ought to behave in a variety of situations.
  • Mother (experienced, and naturally demanding) - assuming she is still young, energetic, especially well suited if living under the same roof or if she has an obedient husband to attest to her skills. Most women coming from female led households will of course already be quite savvy and require no further help except in very particular situations).

Feel free to use multiple Authority Figures if necessary and possible.

An Authority Figure of last resort is your attorney. Imposing a potential divorce as the only alternative to compliance is a solid - though dangerous - endgame move. I do not recommend this except as a last attempt at reforming a recalcitrant male, before giving up on him. If this is a stage you're ready to be in, you and a seductive female attorney would wield great power and would be in an optimal position to reframe the male, especially if assets are at stake. In this case, she would serve as a wonderful AF.

Training your male with the aid of an authority figure

Even with a DreamLover male management system in your hands, the "authority figure" method still offers plenty of benefits for couples moving to a female led relationship.

Initially, the woman may not be used to administering punishment with the necessary frequency and attentiveness. She may not know how to handle objections or second thought. An AF (be it a counselor or a woman senior to you who is already in a female led relationship and has some experience) will be accustomed to stable levels of servitude from her male(s) and will quickly notice any minor infraction. She will be adept at overcoming any resistance and will instruct you step by step on how to directly manage your boyfriend or husband.

Because he is put immediately in the firm hands of a female disciplinarian, your male will internalize the seriousness of his training relatively quickly, and will not be able to exploit your leniency or lack of experience. Consistency in training is key - and especially during the first phase of training, clear roles and a consistent response to his actions will greatly facilitate the process.

Allowing your AF to help

After discussing your training goals with your AF, it is best to let her operate, and just watch. You two will talk at length about what you expect from your male and what his habits and shortcomings are. She will ensure that training proceeds at the proper pace. You should not interrupt the AF as she is instructing the male, even if you notice an error in how she is interpreting your requests. It is important that the male learns to see her as the absolute authority during this phase. Brainstorming and fine-tuning can happen later. Furthermore, it would be a bad idea to interrupt the male's punishment as it is being carried out, as this would send a distracting message to the male regarding how his misbehaviors will be dealt with. In particular, you should refrain from feeling pity for the male when he is subjected to seemingly cruel punishment, such as repetitive level 3 pulses of a DreamLover 2000 unit or the timer mode, or an ordinary corporal punishment. And here's why.

First, it is understood by all that punishment of the male is to occur exclusively in order to better him and increase his level of usefulness and receptiveness towards female authority. It is immoral to punish a male without reason (though proving his acceptance in the absence of a reason sometimes constitutes reason enough). Most likely your AF is acting fairly.

Second, you must realize that if you are evolving from traditional household roles into a female led relationship, there is a learning curve for you as well. You will learn to adjust the intensity of punishment in response to the severity of the transgression. You will become accustomed to the necessary negative feedback involved in training, and so will he. Soon, it won't seem excessive to either of you.

Third, it is important for the male to fully commit to training from the very beginning - seeing that you are entirely comfortable watching him go through a full punishment, and that you will not show hesitation or second thoughts, is the first step towards discarding existing, negative behavioral roles, and you and your male's first step into a wholly female led reality.

Remember: though you have made the big step and are determined to put your male in his right place for an enjoyable and long period of willing servitude to you, you may at times have reservations. Know that almost all the things you may initially think or feel as far as cruelty and fairness are concerned are simply negative conditioning that your mind has internalized and which prevent you from asserting your feminine power to the fullest.

With very few exceptions, almost all males who decide to diligently submit to the necessary training and enter a role of worshipful service to their women report increased levels of satisfaction with their life, and a sense of purpose which was previously absent. When your male starts to acquire those desirable habits which make him worthy of your affection and admiration, and of your friends' envy, both of you will know it was more than worth it. Punishment is simply a means to an end, one that will make your life - and that of your male - feel a whole lot better, at a very deep level. One day he will thank you for it!

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