Exercises in Identity Reframing

(by Kathrin Cohen, male management consultant and product manager, DreamLover Laboratories)

Introduction

We have previously covered the theory of Identity Reframing. However today I wish to talk about the practical side of things. You want to IR your male - where exactly do you start?

First of all understand that you should exercise with identity reframing often, because this is a "real time" task, much like playing an instrument. It requires you to understand which conditions will require your male to reconstruct his self-image, and how you can create those conditions by manipulating the present situation. But not only that - you will need to get a feel for how it works and practice it for some time before you become good at it.

Identity reframing is considered an advanced male training technique; for this reason if you are looking for quick and easy compliance we do not recommend attempting this on your own, but rather request the help of a professional male management consultant. Or, you can use the upcoming DreamLover Labs products to jump start your male's training.

If you want to try this powerful and exciting male control technique, please start from the following practical exercises.

Redefine the context

Redefining the context allows you to utilize pride and shame to obtain a desired response. This technique is stealth - the overwhelming majority of males are not perceptive enough to detect that it's being used. To give you a practical example imagine there are two buckets, labeled "pussy-whipped" and "knight". Most males will try to conceal their natural propensity to defer to women because our culture still associates overt deference to the first bucket. In training your male with Identity Reframing your job is to take behaviors out of the first bucket and put them into the second, one by one.

Males start out with different items in their buckets. Some are eager to open doors for you and carry your shopping bags. Some shun these behaviors for the well known FOBSAPW mechanism (Fear of Being Seen as Pussy Whipped). But as you know, males generally have an annoying scarcity of items in the knight bucket, and the number of these items has shrunk since ancient times. For instance, in the past it was considered "chivalrous" for a male to drop his favorite piece of garment in a puddle for a damsel to cross it without spoiling her footwear or skirt. But today most men will not spontaneously offer to do any such thing, even if it's raining and you are wearing your best pair of high heel sandals that you bought in Paris for several hundred dollars. But suppose you do cross the filthy puddle by your own means and your precious sandals did get wet: you are now in a predicament. You don't want to look awkward by tending to them and wiping off the filth from under your soles by yourself (and walk around with the messy napkin in your hand trying to find a trashcan). And your untrained date probably isn't used to carrying a napkin for this sort of situation, let alone getting down on his knees to help. This is when you start to wonder "Gosh, what did grandma get wrong?" and ask yourself how we got to this point where even the basic gestures of service that were considered manly and chivalrous are shunned by most.

But fear not: when you learn to take items from the "pussy-whipped" bucket and place them into the "knight" bucket you will obtain this and pretty much any other desired behavior from your male without any resistance.

By imitation

If you have any girlfriends who are ahead of you in the training of their partner, ask them over. Plan to have their male's obedience displayed in front of yours, by having him assume a behavior that you wish to have your male emulate. Upon carrying out the task deferentially, both of you must praise him copiously. It must be shown that the behavior will immediately attract the attention and approval of females. If multiple friends (and multiple trained males) are available, even better: it can then be shown that compliance in these matters is commonplace, and it is pretty poor etiquette not to conform.

Males notoriously imitate any behavior that will result in women being attracted to them. In order to prevent cognitive dissonance they will automatically reassign such actions to the gentleman bucket.

Give him a role model (using movies)

If a well trained male is not available (not a surprise nowadays), find movies which portray your desired behavior as normal and romantic. Pick movies set in the far past, such as the middle ages. Movies with knights and damsels will be just great - or just use a movie you've already watched that exhibits a trait you want your male to acquire.

I like to use queen and knight movies, perhaps it's my medieval fetish - they just work so well! Upon an act of reverence towards the queen in the story, express your wish to also be treated like that queen. Obviously, you do not say this directly - rather, you might say something like "Oh, I wish I could also be treated like that... too bad I am not a queen!". This give your male the chance to surprise you, and offer to treat you like a queen. You are allowing him to think something is his decision - so that he will not feel manipulated or try to resist.

Now the key part is where you take whatever positive reaction he has had and turn it into a real promise or routine that he must pledge to follow. If your male has agreed to treat you like a queen, demand that he calls you "My Queen". Do this in a playful way, make it into a game and you should find no resistance. If any of these steps fail, get a headache. Withhold sex for a few days, improve your delivery, and repeat. My experience has convinced me that this process is extremely easy if you know how to get the man in an aroused state and introduce your demands playfully. This method has never failed for me: among my past boyfriends and "test subjects" I even had one enthusiastic "vassal" who liked this game so much he spontaneously took up bowing to me in a pleasant old fashioned manner and addressing me as Your Majesty!

Once a role model is established

If (or rather, when) he does start calling you that, you have just barely started with reframing. The fun starts now! You will now be able to introduce your wishes and expectations in the context of the game you have started by challenging him in a variety of ways to be coherent with his role. Say things like "If I really were your queen you would do this for me. Are you not my knight?"
In other words assume and at the same time threaten to withdraw his knighthood.

You should take the Queen/Knight game as far as it will go: most men are eager to be seen as a courageous Knight and will go to great lengths to protect this little illusion that you are creating, even when you act a little cruel and transfer a massive number of items from the first bucket into the second just for the fun of it. Each step they take reinforces their new role model and slightly modifies how they see themselves in relation to women.

You can try this exercise with other trance words already covered in prior articles, such as "Gentleman", "Valiant", "Sweet" and so on. Strengtheners like "true" or "old style" further raise the status of this coveted figure your male will want to emulate.

The reframing game you have established will much benefit from making small but visible changes in the male's life. For instance, altering the male's look (the shining armor) or how he organizes his possessions, or bringing about any other change in his habits with the specific aim of making him look more "knightly" will help him absorb the new role model.

In conclusion

In these basic Identity Reframing exercises you have learned to assign any duty to positive attributes by means of direct emulation or a fictional role model. You have learned to assume these attributes and encourage the male to emulate his role model with praise and other covert methods. You have learned that you can now threaten to withdraw his increased status if he fails to comply with the attached duties. Please use these techniques with wisdom, and good luck!

- Kathrin