How to Control your Male Sexually
(abridged from "How to be a Dominatrix", by LCM323444 at eHow.com)
[...] The definition of the "real deal" is simply a woman who knows how to control a man sexually. Begin with your boyfriend, fiance or husband. These simple steps will let you get control of him by using a formal, in-the-home training regimen. The positive changes you will see take place in your partner, as well as in yourself, make it all worth the effort. Who knows, once you have mastered this at home, you may want to take your new found powers "on the road."
Why it works
"Obedience is a desirable trait in males.
But it must be taught and reinforced."
There isn't a man alive that doesn't love a woman who can take control of him sexually. He has already been trained since the time he was a little boy to take orders from women: his mother, big sister, aunt, grandmother, baby-sitter, the lady next door, kindergarten teacher, etc. When he had his first crush on a sexy school-teacher he became familiar with an authoritative, no-nonsense woman in high heels. But about the time he finished high school, he got rebellious, and began to resist the natural sexual authority of women. But its still there, laying dormant just under the surface. You can quickly reawaken those submissive tendencies in him, and get him right back where he belongs -- at your feet! Rest assured that he'll be happier for it in the long run. Remember, sexual submission to a dominant and sexually confident woman is part of his very nature. At the same time, you have to be ready to present him with the ultimatum. Either he participates in this with you, or the relationship is over. If you aren't ready to make that stand, then you aren't ready to be a dominatrix. If you don't feel that he's ready, go read my other article on "Training Your Man."
On your demeanor
But you need to be calm, confident and firm with him, and explain to him that you are not "asking" him, but are just simply "informing" him that he IS going to participate in this with you. Speak about it as if it is a fait accompli, and explain that if he's a good boy and does as he's told, that there may be a big reward for him in the end. Don't promise him a reward. That depends on how good he is. But tempt him with the possibility of a reward.
On your attire
Wear what you like, but always make it black and sexy. The purpose of your attire is not just to arouse him and focus his sexual attention, but to "COMMAND" his sexual attention and keep it riveted on you. A man's greatest sexual weakness is that he is very visual, and you must use that to your advantage. Harness his weakness to "dominate" him. As his tiny male brain becomes aroused by the visual image of his Goddess, the blood flow in his brain is diverted away from his anterior cingulate cortex, the decision-making part of his brain. And as his decision-making powers become increasingly impaired, he will become more compliant, acquiescent, obedient and submissive to your commands. This is how it works.
During these sessions, the proper place for his eyes is "locked on your feet." 3) Once you come to the door, and the session begins, he is not to speak unless spoken to. If spoken to, you will most likely ask him "yes" or "no" questions. His answers should be limited to: "Yes, Maam," "No, Maam," or "I don't know, Maam." For the word "Maam," you may choose to substitute words like "Mistress," "Princess," "Goddess," or whatever you like. If he feels the need to say something or ask a question, he must first get your permission by addressing you by name, "Goddess Lisa," and asking, "May I have permission to say something, Maam?" Of course, you may or may not grant that permission. Don't permit him to get "chatty." 4) In any case, he is to obey your every command during the training session. Remember, this isn't play. This is therapy.
Hold your head back a bit, looking down at him, and command him, "Roger, Position One," speaking with confidence and authority. He should immediately and smoothly drop into Position One, which is: On his knees, toes pointed, butt on heels, his hands flat on the floor on either side of your left foot. His forearms should be parallel and flat on the floor, his elbows a few inches in front of his knees. And then, leaning forward, raising his butt off his heels, he should touch his forehead to the toes of your left foot. He should never rest his head on your foot. Your foot is NOT a headrest. He should hold this position until you command him to do otherwise. He is not to kiss your foot unless you command him to, and only then as a reward for him.
In addition to Position One, there are nine other positions described in books like "The Art Of Sensual Female Dominance: A Guide for Women"
Positive and negative reinforcement
When putting him through his Training Positions, if he does something especially good, or finally gets a particular Training Position right, you should encourage him with positive reinforcement. Let him hear you purr a soft "Good Boy." Eventually he will relish hearing you say those words, and just that simple reward, knowing that he has pleased you, will become the principle reward for which he strives. But, if he hesitates or "balks" at a command, or if he performs the wrong position, you will need to "Correct" him. Correction consists of 1) letting him know that he has done something wrong; 2) letting him know what it is that he did wrong; 3) letting him know that it displeases you (this can be accomplished simply with your tone of voice); and 4) it should be accompanied by a swat or a "stroke" with your crop upon his butt or the back of his thighs. Correction should always be 1) immediate and swift, not five minutes later, 2) consistent, and not flexible, and 3) significant and meaningful. This last one means that it should be hard enough to make him wish he had not done something wrong, but NEVER so hard that it would inflict harm. There is a difference between harm and pain. Remember, to him, the fact that he displeased his Mistress will be far more punishment than any swat or stroke you could administer. The stroke is merely to punctuate your displeasure. I recommend a mix of 70 to 80 percent positive reinforcement, and only 20 to 30 percent negative reinforcement in any given one hour session. Don't get too impatient, he will improve over time. If he performs well during a session, you can reward him by letting him massage your feet or fix you a bubble bath afterwards. If you are intimate with your male, the best reward you can give him is to permit him to give you oral sex afterwards. This is something he will learn to work for eagerly.