There's some of us lifestylers here, but it's not safe to make the assumption that all of us are interested in a CB device for the same reasons you are, or with the same mindset. Or that we're single and available - I am not, so please don't bug me with PM's asking if I am. If you are local to me and cool with hanging out casually at the femdom social group (FAD in Raleigh NC), then feel free to drop a note or just make it over to FAD and say hi in person. Otherwise, please no contact and no personal requests. I don't do online anything, period, hard limit. Thank you for respecting this.
I certainly have an interest in such a training device, but I generally find that I am utterly incompatible with the average male audience for these things, as he typically has a very negative or tease and denial based view of both male and female sexuality. I absolutely require a positive attitude where the male is a sexually objectified, expected to be visually attractive, completely masculine sex object whose sexuality is both highly valued and fully owned.
Alas, it generally does make sense to hire a pro if you have very specific fantasies that aren't necessarily going to make most women happy, even dominant women. The classic male submissive stereotype of the groveling, "worthless male" who thinks of his sexuality as bad or dirty or degrading to the female does absolutely nothing for me. The stereotype of the femdom as the ice princess who dresses like a whore but doesn't actually get or want any sex turns me off even more than that.
Actually it pisses me off, because I frankly don't see any difference between "dominant women aren't supposed to like or have sex" and "nice girls aren't supposed to like or have sex". I can not personally see this mindset as being even vaguely compatible with adult female dominance, and IMO it is utterly the opposite.
I also don't see any difference between "sexual penetration equals male dominance, so therefore I shouldn't get to have any" and "sexual penetration equals male dominance, so therefore I should get some". Both are male dominant worldviews, and neither are relevant to me - anyone who holds either of them is not someone I would ever willingly date or play with. Men are very pretty. They are nice to own. They are good for lifting heavy objects and giving hot stud service. It would be a very bad and highly offensive mistake to confuse that mindset with male dominance because there's sex involved. I mean, duuh, I'm the dominant, therefore I get the sex I want, when I want it. I am a normal healthy adult with a normal healthy sex drive, so that would be pretty often. No can give regular hot stud service because you're too busy freaking out about how sex is bad, penetration is male dominant, and you think it's my job to dress up for you and tease you while you don't give me sex? Not compatible; do not want.
To make a long story short, there's a LOT of lifestyle women I know who feel this way and who are utterly incompatible with the "average" male submissive who wants the stereotyped stuff from a chastity device - eg, tease and denial, or the idea that femdoms could not possibly be sexual aggressors who enjoy owning highly fuckable sexy studmuffins and getting laid regularly. Cuz, y'know, some of us do. Actually a lot of us, in my experience in the real life BDSM community.
A guy who gets off on how much he doesn't or can't get his partner off, or how "bad" his sexuality is, really doesn't ring my bells. Sadly that tends to be the "chastity" mindset, and it's one of the many reasons there's a significant imbalance between men into chastity and women into keyholding. A lot of women who happen to be dominant and who also have a normal, healthy sex drive look at the stereotype and go, "Uh, what exactly is supposed to be fun about this for me?" And they're gone. Assuming they don't get deluged with grossly crude emails from desperate and utterly mannerless "submissives" and run for the hills even before that.
I have to want that cock to have any desire to lock it up and keep it all for myself, and that means sexually and romantically wanting the man it's attached to. If I have a personal, proprietary interest in a sexy male I own and love, absolutely. A random horny dude wanting a keyholder for reasons that just don't resonate with me....no.
Anyhow, just sharing thoughts and perspective from the other side of the kneel. Hopefully folks will be respectful and I won't be too sorry that I did.
By professorjeff at 2012-03-15 14:39:24 Reply 
